Okay so I was supposed to write a totally different blog post for today.
But since the current thing I’m working on is being more receptive and more responsive to what God wants me to do, I think I’m going to go for this one.
If you’re reading this blog post right now, you should know that I’m writing this at exactly 10pm at my favourite coffee shop that closes at 11pm. So that means I finished this whole thing in one hour, so it might be a little frizzy and crazy, but bear with me, because I want to talk to you about something very important.
Originally, I was planning to make this week’s blog post about “Living in the moment, instead of living for the moment.” And although it’s a great amazing topic, I feel like it would have blessed me, more than it would bless you.
Because I want to bless you. Everything I do here is for you. I’m investing my life, in your life. Like what I tell my friends all the time, let’s do this together.
And so, I was thinking what to write about for today. What I meant by “living in the moment” is learning how to cherish and appreciate the relationships in your life, rather than “living for the moment” meaning living just for this thing or that thing.
But you don’t need that mass-produced inspirational cookie-cutter clickbait blog post. I don’t want to write these blogs just to make myself feel good. I really want to help you. I know you need something real.
Here’s something real.
On average, somewhere in the world, every 40 seconds, someone commits suicide. Global suicide rates have increased by 60% in the past 45 years. 60%.
How can I even talk about living at all when people all across the world, and scarily many people close to my age, are either ending or contemplating on ending their own lives?
How can I talk about cherishing relationships or anything like that when many people haven’t even experienced what’s it like to have a family?
How can I talk about living in the moment if so many people can’t even think of a moment in their life that they felt truly alive?
I’m writing this from the rawest part of my heart.
On behalf of every person that writes tearjerking inspirational self-help articles on the internet, I want to apologise.
I want to apologise for how insensitive we sometimes are. How could we begin to even push you to become better people if you’ve never even felt what it feels like to feel better. If all you’ve known your whole life is worse and worse and worse.
So I’m truly, truly, truly sorry.
Someone needs to reach out to you. Someone needs to speak to you.
And so I will try my best to do so right now.
I can’t begin to comprehend what you’ve gone through or what you’re going through right now.
You might be a situation that is so impossible, where not even a single sliver of hope exists.
You might feel so broken, so ashamed, so insecure of who you are.
Maybe you’re trying to pretend you’re someone else when you’re with others, maybe you put on a mask saying you’re alright, but deep down inside, nobody made the effort to ask how you truly are.
I want to do that right now.
I really want to pray for you.
I don’t believe in “kakayanin.”
Because maybe right now, you’re in a situation where you know that strength won’t pull you through. It’s impossible.
You don’t have to “kakayanin” it.
Not alone, you don’t.
Because right now, where ever you are in this vast world, I want you to know that in this blog post, in this little website of mine, I am here for you.
You’re not alone, because I know what it feels like to suffer.
We may have different stories, we may have different situations, we may have different struggles, but we all know what it feels like to suffer.
Even to this day, even if things are becoming better and brighter each day for me, I still struggle with my insecurities. I still struggle with my feeling of being unloved. I still struggle trying to see worth in me, because for the longest time I didn’t realise that people actually valued me.
You’re not alone.
And so as I write to you, I’m writing to myself too.
Who needs that inspirational crap? I know you need something real. I need something real. So I will be real to you.
Sure, I talk about all this “God stuff” and “Jesus loves you” and all of that. But that doesn’t mean there are days I doubt if He’s there at all. It doesn’t mean I’m perfect. It doesn’t mean I’m sinless. Definitely not.
It’s difficult each day. But I know that in the process, I am being transformed to be a better and stronger and more loving person.
For every struggle we face, we collect more and more scars. And these scars turn into stories that can someday change another person’s life.
So I’d like to share my stories with you. I’d like to share my life with you. I’d like to be here for you.
If you’ve been casually following my blog for awhile, I want you to know that I’m not going to be a “casual writer.”
I take seriously what I do and I want to take YOU seriously.
I’m not here to give advice, I’m here to give my life.
I want you to know that I’m here, and we can do this together.
I’ll leave with you this short simple message.
Do you why I keep doing what I’m doing?
Because I get to experience God’s real love from the people around me.
You see, God isn’t okay with being a God that is far away from you. No, He’s constantly chasing and pursuing you. We really just have a hard time seeing how He works. But He definitely is working right now in your situation. He definitely worked and is working in mine.
God wants you to experience His love for you in a personal way.
And you know? He did just that. As I grew closer to Him, He sent people in my way that showed me how much He really loved me.
So right now, I want to be that person for you. You may not have anyone nearby that has been able to show you what it means to be loved.
So through this blog, I want to do my very best to make you feel God’s love for you.
And the simplest, and the only way really I can do that, is to tell you this:
I love you.
Each word I type, each blog I post, is for you. I want you to know that someone is out there doing his best to remind you that you are loved, that you are wanted, that you have a greater purpose than you could ever imagine.
So join me every Wednesday will you?
Let’s stop making those crappy generic inspirational blog posts. And let’s start doing this together. Okay?
PS. You are not alone. I’m here every Wednesday, and if I can, I will be writing more often. But I don’t want this conversation to be one sided. I would love to read your comments, your thoughts, your opinions, your prayers, anything! You can message me through my facebook page, or drop a message through the contact form on this blog. I’m here for you, remember that!
PPS. Are you in high school or college? Join us at youth! We hold a weekly event called Youth High, in Meeting Room 2, PICC. Gates open at 10:45am. We will be your second family.
PPPS. I will be following this post with the proper version of “Living in the Moment vs. Living for the Moment.” Okay? I’ll see you then!